As you read this keep in mind that you are probably going to say to yourself, "this isn't me but it sure would help so and so...". So all I want you to do while reading this is think, "this is for me." and stop trying to help others for a couple mins.
Is it OK to contradict? In short, yes it is OK. There is a very big side note on this statement. Lets go over some scenarios.
Scenario 1
1. You meet with a bunch of friends and they start talking about cars. Someone brings up that a Dodge is better than any competitor. You know all about cars of course...you studied them perfusively for an hour or two. So You (being you...the analytical thinker) go on to say "Chevy is better than dodge hands down". The conversation gets akward right after that statement and you start to get remarks like "My experience with Dodge is...." from the friend. All you can think of to say is a silly commercial you heard saying that Chevy was the only survivor of the apocalypse. When you both leave you kind of feel akward and are not for sure why the conversation wasn't carried on or why anyone left happy.
what went wrong with this first scenario?
Being the analytical thinker you are, you love debate. You have to look at the pros and cons. This is OK. This is why you are good at what you do. Most of the time when someone brings up a potential debate you take the opposite of what someone is saying AKA if they are for it you are against it. This is great. This is who you are. The problem lies in no one wants to be shot down in a public settings. Public criticism is the worst, yet Analytical Thinkers thrive on creating this criticism. Analytical thinkers however tend to think this is a good converstational device and want to use it often. No wonder no one likes you! You contradict them on ever turn and like it! What is worse is when you contradicted them it is in front of everyone! You didn't have any idea what you are getting into. The point is no matter how many backup statements you can put after you contradict someone in a public setting DON'T CONTRADICT and try to spark the conversation by pros and cons. It will never work and you will leave with that "what did I say?"
If you have to contradict in the public setting I suggest:
1. hear them out. Give them a compliment such as "Dodge is a good car..." ask them questions like "how did you conclude that dodge was the best?" let them talk. Do NOT interject any of your side comments. Give them a pleasant face to look at....not that judgmental face you get right before a debate. Without humilating them in public they can then move on to their experience and go over their pros. The point of this is you are letting them be heard out. Everyone wants to be heard. If you get them talking and let them talk without interuption you just scored points with them.
2. when you actually get to the "contradicting" part after they made their spill maybe say something like "well from what you said Dodge is a great choice! I personally choose Chevy however because....". You could even throw out your funny commercial spill now and make a joke...which would be unheard of from the analytical thinker. The point is to leave the conversation open...try not to use cons but pros about your side.
Now take the second scenario:
Scenario 2
2. You and a friend are out ready to go see a movie when you start talking about the best super hero. You know of course it is Iron Man but he is stuck on saying it is Captian America. You both have strong pros and cons and you go over them. It becomes a great experience.
What went right in this second scenario and why was it different than the first?
I bet you guessed it: this is a private setting. It happens that when you are in private with one other it seems like debate is a must to keep a good conversation. You both are happy cause there is no other person listening in to feel dumb around. A word of caution would be if someone came into the conversation during the conversation...just switch over to letting the other talk about the pros and then get your chance and spill over the pros of your super hero.
Now I would like to caution contradicting in general.
General Triggers
Even in a private setting contradiction is tricky. There are some triggers to remember during private converstations that will help you see that the other isn't in the mood for a debate even though they are in a private setting.
1. look at their eyes. They will say "I am open" or "I am closed" to debate. It is very easy to tell...you just have to look at them...which is hard for us Analyticals.
2. If you hear anything like "My experience is..." you have not oversteped your bounds yet. Just match them and say "That is an interesting point of view! My experience is....". This leaves it open. No criticism so you are OK for now.
so as you go throughout your day analytical thinkers think "Am I contradicting and is it appropriate?" With a conscious effort for a couple days this question will become natural and you will be on your way to being a great conversationalist... Whatever that means.
For more great insights I found a webpage that goes over some funny stuff:
http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/10things/10-curses-of-the-analytical-thinker/2466
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